A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend,
but
started having second thoughts about the breakup. She
asked me if I thought they could break up
and get back
together. I told her that I
thought it depended on a few
things:
You often hear people say that relationships take work,
and that is true, to a point. The
reality is that many of us close our eyes when entering into a
relationship. We totally ignore all
warning signs that this just isn't going to work out, and we often cling to the
sinking ship long after we should have jumped overboard.
A good relationship with someone you are compatible with
will take work, but not as much as if you try to force something with someone
you simply aren't compatible with.
You can't fit a square peg in a round hole and that's
what many people try to do with their relationships. They know deep inside that this person isn't
right for them but for some reason they feel the need to hold on tightly. Maybe it's the fear of starting over or being
alone, but in the long run you risk being miserable instead of being happy with
the right person.
So to answer the question of getting back together after
a breakup you have to be honest with yourself about the reason you broke
up.
Most often when a couple breaks up it's because things
have gone so far that it's difficult, or impossible, to fix. If you could identify a problem and fix it
right away before the resentments and anger grows you'd have a better chance of
saving the relationship.
Most people are in denial and don't want to rock the boat
so they ignore the small problems and before they know it those small problems
have grown into huge problems, and by then it's usually too late.
If you've broken up over small generally insignificant
differences and you're both mature enough and willing to openly discuss the
issues then yes, by all means, get back together.
But if the problems have grown too big and the
resentments have gone too deep then it's probably best not to break up and get
back together. Just learn from your mistakes and move on. As painful as this might be in the long run
it will be less painful than staying in a bad relationship.
A great book to read to help you is the Magicof Making Up, shows you how to get your ex back. It takes you through a process of truly
evaluating your relationship, both positives and negatives, to see if you can
identify what specifically went wrong in your case. The Magic of Making Up also
gives you things to focus on to improve your own life while you are in the
broken up stage. Taking time to make yourself the best you can be at this stage
not only takes your focus away from your heartbreak, according to the Magic Of Making Up it also helps prepare you to portray a self-confident mindset to your
ex, and also prepares you to move forward in a positive way regardless of the
outcome.
Magic Of Making Up
The Magic Of Making Up covers strategies for contacting your ex, the
type of meeting to set up and how to set it up, how to handle a "No"
if that is the response you get on your first try, and perhaps most important
how to handle yourself at the first meeting after a period of break up.
The Magic Of Making Up discusses how to behave and the kinds of things to discuss at the first meeting, what not to discuss, and offers an interesting "reconnect technique", which is a simple but loving action you can take that triggers your ex's subconscious into feeling like they are already back together in a loving relationship.
The Magic Of Making Up discusses how to behave and the kinds of things to discuss at the first meeting, what not to discuss, and offers an interesting "reconnect technique", which is a simple but loving action you can take that triggers your ex's subconscious into feeling like they are already back together in a loving relationship.
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